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Somewhere Ever After

traversing the road to the rest of my life

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wedding

Two Surprise Boxes and One Very Important Piece of Paper!

Tuesday, as I was cleaning the still very messy apartment, I heard the unmistakable thump of male feet on the stairs. The unit next to us is still vacant, it wasn’t lunchtime, and Koby had brought his lunch to work anyhow. That meant only one thing*– a package! Sure enough, another thump followed, and I opened the door to find a rather large box on our doormat and a uniformed figure retreating down the stairs with a wave.

In the previous months, packages had been coming right and left– first wedding decor/supplies, then Christmas gifts, then more wedding supplies, and even a few early wedding presents. Now though, we are almost a month past, and I hadn’t ordered anything. For a moment, I worried it was supposed to be a Valentines gift from Koby, but it had my maiden name on it– a sure sign of a wedding registry purchase. It also said “cheese tray.” NOW I was excited. It’s the CHEESE TRAY!!!!

Ok, I know, I’m a dork, getting all excited about the cheese tray, but have you seen my newest Pinterest board? (What, you thought I had forgotten about Pinterest? Yeah right!) “Kitchen of my Dreams!” It features many items from my registry, as well as  items newly added (post-wedding) because I can– we have some belated wedding party things in the works (thankfully, planned by people not us, because I am SOOOOO done with the planning thing. Like… forever.)

Initially, my kitchen was planned around the Corvella collection by Chris Madden, and from there, I found items that matched and filled in holes. Gorgeous cream colored ceramic-ware with scrolling cast aluminum detailing… all very pretty. Apparently, not so many of my guests even peeked at that particular list though. We had salt shakers, and one dinner set , and a couple gift cards. Everything else pertained to the other list.** That said, can you see why I was so excited? Also, it has a dome top. It’s essentially a small cake plate! Not only is it pretty, it’s my first purely decorative kitchen/dining item. This is a big deal.

Before I proceed, I have to tell you about one of the more interesting “get to know you” questions Koby has asked recently (he periodically comes up with these) He asked “Is the unboxing  important for you?” I had to have him explain what he meant– taking a gift out of it’s packaging– but it sparked an interesting discussion. Essentially, “unboxing” does little for me. In fact, with all those stupid twist-ties and clam shell plastic packages and styrofoam, it’s probably the worst part of a gift for me. (I do like unwrapping, but that’s a story for another day).

Despite my usual dislike of the aforementioned “unboxing,” I tore at that box like a 6 year old at Christmas. I could NOT wait until he got home. There it was, in all it’s glory, cast aluminum decorative piece, pretty ceramic tray (even prettier in person than in the picture) and a glass dome with a cast aluminum decorative knob thingy to match. And of course, styrofoam flecks clinging to it, because styrofoam is evil. But I didn’t even mind that, because it was MY cheese tray. Of course, it had to go back in it’s box, with it’s evil styrofoam, because we’re moving in mere months, but I took it out one more time today for a picture. I’ll get to that in a moment.

Another box came while I was gone. A little less dramatic, as I’d been at work the whole day. Koby and I decided we’d splurge on Chick-Fil-A rather than rush a less than satisfying meal after such a long day . I quickly sat down to rearrange my purse (which was full of work stuff that didn’t need to come with) and get ready to go. Since the table and both chairs had boxes, lamps, lunch bag, etc. occupying all available space, I just sat on the floor  in front of the accumulation of boxes, bags, books and such near the door (also yet to be cleaned– it’s been a long process.) I noticed an Amazon note, and then noticed it was one I hadn’t seen yet, then noticed the box it was on. Food processor! “Oh yeah, I meant to tell you about that.” Yet another very belated wedding present– and a good thing! I was getting ready to order it myself, as it would make one of our new favorite recipes MUCH easier.

So… yay!

Also, we FINALLY got our marriage certificate! More yay!! I can “officially” be rid of my maiden name, which sounds vaguely like I got something stuck in my throat– not very maidenly at all. My married name is much nicer. Not am I glad to have the certificate for it’s sentimental value. As much as I enjoyed seeing the signatures of all the people we care about verifying their presence at our wedding, I look forward to the doors this paper opens. It means we can start handling things like health insurance, bank account merging, new drivers licenses, etc. One more piece in it’s place.

Also– guess what? I’m holding it upside down. Because by the time I got the lighting right and was dashing around and such, I wasn’t paying attention. And now the lighting won’t cooperate. So… no one saw nothin,’ right?

________________

*Technically, it could also mean maintenance, guests to look at the still vacant apartment, salespeople, or someone up to no good, but we’ll just ignore that.

** That is NOT to say that I wasn’t grateful for the things that we did receive, because I am, very much so. I am already using and enjoying many gifts, and planning uses for gift cards and such. I’m just pointing out that very little of that particular set was in my hands as of that point, and it was one of the things I most looked forward to,

 

And the Journey Begins…

All of you regular readers (meaning… maybe one person?) might have noticed a distinct lack of upcoming post promise fulfillment, not to mention a general deficiency in posting overall. Which is to say… yeah, I haven’t been around. Cut me some slack, people! I had a wedding to plan! (Not to mention holiday stuff taking over my life and making that whole wedding planning thing even worse.)

Long story short, we’re married, the honeymoon was great, almost everything I own is in his apartment, and at some point, we won’t live in fear of some government official declaring it unfit to live due to the unfortunate resemblance to disaster aftermath. I have at least found the carpet (in the living room, anyhow…)

Oh, and guess what! We’re even CPR and first aid certified. I know, totally romantic choice for our first free Saturday, right? But it might help me get a job, and he plans to help with Boy Scouts in the near-ish future, so he needed it too.

So NOW I am free to promise future posts! Really! (And the misadventures are already accruing, so stay tuned.) In the meantime, a little voyeurism provided by some of the Facebook paparazzi!

Save the Dates

As everyone who actually lives at the address provided has received their “save the date” I can play show and tell without spoiling the surprise.


There they are in all their glory. Bookmarks. Bookmarks that took WAY longer to make than I expected. I found the tutorial here.

As the tutorial wasn’t intended for bookmarks, I had to make some alterations. For one, they were too flimsy, so I had to use a layer of cardstock between two layers of linen. And I had to do two colors of paint on the edge. And the circle bit, and the ribbons, and draw my own picture, and pick the perfect font. Yada yada yada. I know. My fault for being artistic and picky. I can never keep things simple. In the end, though, I am satisfied with them, despite their imperfections (and that’s a BIG deal for me).

And, of course, phone calls of delight from relatives and friends and soon-to-be in-laws didn’t hurt either.

I included a little card reminding those who don’t know what a “save the date” is to do just that (and let’s be honest– I had never heard of them until the last few years when friend’s weddings led to *ahem* passive browsing). We didn’t want worried phone calls from grandmothers asking for details we don’t have yet.

Envelopes were stamped by hand (and printed with the help of my wonderful techie fiance, who also did the printing on the bookmarks). Bookmark and card were carefully wrapped in pretty pearlescent tissue paper and tucked into their pretty envelopes. Last but not least, postage is placed. Did you notice the Mark Twain stamps? Perfect.

Breaking Rules in our Wedding Planning

Despite the fact that, in most ways, I’m actually quite old fashioned, I’ve had a hard time swallowing the majority of the wedding etiquette I’ve encountered. “I have to do what?? I don’t think so.” For me, the wedding is a very personal occasion, and if something doesn’t ring true or doesn’t seem like it will add to the day, I’m cutting it. Or… pleading to cut it, and then leaving it in only as an act of love for my fiance because it means something to him. Maybe it’s that I’ve spent too much time on Offbeat Bride, but I don’t adhere to traditional ceremony just for tradition’s sake. It has to mean something.

Now that the save the dates are in the mail, I am trying to get materials and final plans together for the invitations, and found it’s just not proper to include RSVP cards without postage. Inside, I was sputtering in protest. But… why? A good 3/4 or more of those people probably won’t mail them back anyhow! And we’re including an online RSVP option– which we’d prefer guests choose  as it simplifies our lives too. The only reason we are including cards at all is for those relatives eligible for senior-citizen discounts who currently don’t own or even know how to use a computer. And yes, I have some. I have great grandmothers already well into their 90s, and short of unexpected illnesses, they will be coming. In fact, they might even come anyhow.

After some agonizing, I decided “so what if it’s ‘proper?'”It’s a waste to buy 100 stamps that will likely end up in the garbage. Either I can include the RSVP cards sans postage (assuming most will choose the online option anyhow) or I can include postage for the few I’m convinced will actually use the cards (the aforementioned great grandmothers, chiefly. Perhaps an eccentric uncle on my fiance’s side.) Or, perhaps even better, I can eliminate both postage and bitty little envelopes and provide a phone alternative. My fiance can easily set up a phone number just for that purpose through his company. So there– silly etiquette circumvented.

Some other traditions and etiquette I’ve cut or intend to cut:

  • Option of bringing a guest: “And Guests” are limited to spouses and engaged couples. Those we personally know are invited by name, but there’s no need to have complete strangers present on such a personal occasion. This is more for my sanity and preserving the meaning of the day than for expense, but I’ve heard of this being a common choice in order to limit cost too. It might seem snooty and exclusive, but it’s really not about that. It’s just what’s best for the emotional tenor of the day.
  • Flower girls and ring bearers: Rather than desperately search for small children to employ, we decided to just cut this one. There is one adorable girl at church that we’ve recently grown close to, but she’s very young, and sometimes very shy, and would likely have a hard time day-of. Not to mention the wedding is in January– it could be cold.
  • No children: For some of the above reasons, we also decided not to have children present. We both love kids, but kids typically get bored at weddings, and their parents oftentimes are unable to enjoy the wedding themselves. If we had enough prospective child guests, we would just have a kids table and it would be fine, but we don’t. For whatever reason, there are only like… 5 children in the families we have invited. All others are teens or grown. The facility itself wouldn’t really work to hire a babysitter. In the end, it’s just easier to have the little ones stay home. They’ll likely have a better time.
  • Dancing: Only one dance, and that only because I love my fiance. I do NOT like people watching me, and even less so when I have to “perform.” We aren’t really including dancing as an activity, I don’t enjoy dancing (unless we are all waltzing or some such, but I don’t think I can convince all my guests to take lessons) and I don’t approve of most modern dancing– or of the music that often accompanies. And the father daughter dance– sorry, but no. I conceded to my soon-to-be husband because it’s his wedding day too, and I love him, but I’m not terribly close with my father, and being that I hate dancing in general, it’s not happening.
  • Walking down the aisle with my father: Altered “walking down the aisle” plans. Rather than having my father walk me all the way down the aisle and leave my mother to walk in with…someone (I don’t even know who she’s supposed to walk with) I plan to have both parents walk me down the stairs along with bridesmaids, then proceed to their seats together before the rest of the bridal party. Let’s hope my father doesn’t have a conniption fit over this. He’s not always open to alternatives.
  • Isolation of bride and groom prior to the ceremony: Both for my sanity and for the sake of photo expediency, we are throwing this one out the window. Not terribly uncommon in the present day, but yet another change. Besides, have you seen some of the “first look” photos? So sweet.
  • Highly formal listing of parents names in invitations: Our invitations are being handmade to fit our theme (yes– by me, once again. I know, I’m crazy) and the traditional wording of invitations just isn’t going to work. We will honor parents in the invitations, and I promise, they’ll be tasteful and classy, because I wouldn’t stand for anything less, but I am doing things just a little different. You’ll see.
Listing all those (and knowing there are likely to be others) really makes me feel like I am trying to overturn weddings in general, but I’m really not. I’m just trying to make choices true to our relationship and our needs, and leave out anything that doesn’t fit or that detracts from the day. I believe, as odd as my choices might seem to some of my more traditional family members, the day will be a good one in the end.

Overall, a pretty good day.

So, instead of finishing the envelopes on thursday night, I gave in and let myself have some much desired Pinterest time. I know, I have a problem. But it’s actually a GOOD thing. I’m amassing resources for my soon-to-be married life. So… shush. I finished the envelopes last night anyhow, as I was um… not sleepy cause I’d stayed up way too late on Pinterest the night before and subsequently slept in equally late. Bad self. Good news is I’m a few stamps (for international people), a few addresses, and a few envelope redos away from calling this one officially done. Huzzah!*

Also, while I was at it, I painstakingly added EVERY address (even all of his) to my very very cool address book. I have this fantasy that I’m going to write people letters. Because, you know, I’ve been so good at that in the past, and marriage will make me just that much more amazing. Or… not. But it’s an excuse for pretty stationery, right? Let me have my delusions.

All in all, today has been a great day. We visited a few garage sales, and though not amazingly fruitful, we have first dibs on some furniture when an acquaintance moves, another teapot for the wedding, and the amazingly entertaining books “Skippyjon Jones” and “Moose’s Loose Tooth.” Before you say something, yes, I DO read real books (I am having a library themed wedding, after all folks!) but boy do I love children’s books. I suppose it comes of being a quasi-teacher, wannabe children’s book author/illustrator, and a someday mommy.

The rest of the day was entirely relaxing– simple but tasty meals, Tinman**, and spending time NOT working on the wedding (much.)

*I am part of a Renaissance guild, and have spent months of consecutive weekends at Renaissance faires. I am entitled to use huzzah whenever I feel like it.

**More on Tinman later!

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